Getting Married


#1

This Saturday @ 6 p.m. CST.

Any advice other married couples want to kick my way? @Vocino @tommy2118 @Auth or others
I’m just way too excited!! Pictures and all of the love to follow!!!


#2

No advice, just just want to say congrats!


#3

Congratulations! My advice? A family that games together, stays together.


#4

Don’t do it! Nah man, congratulations. Make the most of the day it’s gonna be great.


#5

It has been said that compromise is at the heart of every healthy relationship. This is a bit of a misnomer in my opinion. A compromise is an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions. This is seldom the case when it comes to marriage. I’m not saying that it does not happen or it is not a required skill in order to have a happy, health marriage, quite the opposite to be precise. I just feel that when a disagreement arises we run to compromise as a solution and that just might be a dead end.

Case in point, you want to watch football. She wants to watch Discovery. If you were to really compromise, the two of you would change it to PBS and neither would get what you wanted. Or more realistically, you would watch the first half and then you would change the channel to Discovery and she could catch the end of her show. Remember, in order to compromise each side needs to make concessions.

Why do I point this out? I feel that there is something else that is at the heart of a healthy relationship, Sacrifice. Using the same example from above, more then likely one of you will concede the TV to the other. But, this is not compromise it is sacrifice and coming into the situation knowing the difference can save a lot of hurt feelings down the road. Good luck to you Brother!


#6

My wife has zero interest in my gaming habits. But it’s good because it gives her free time when our oldest son wants to watch me play.

@tommy2118 said it pretty well. My suggestion is to have respect for one another. Be equals.


#7

With marriage, as with life in general, there will be bad times and there will be good times.

What makes the difference in the long run, is which times you choose to remember. Focusing on the times when things weren’t great can make the relationship seem like it’s nothing but bad, but remembering those good times can remind you why you’re in it to begin with.

This kind of thing seems easy on paper, but remembering that when you’re in the thick of the bad times is what’s important.


#8

Congrats @Wheatums !!!


#9

Thinking about this more, I feel like a lot can be gained from taking your vows seriously. Are you a man of your word? Of course. Prove it.

Obviously no one should stay in an abusive or otherwise toxic relationship but barring that, I think people should more often mentally take divorce off the table. That is to say, take it off the table in your own head. Being mindful that this person is your life partner and it’s as much of a no-man-left-behind situation as anything else helps tremendously. Just having the mentally in your head.


#10

#11

Talk, talk about everything.


My wife and I knew each other for years before getting married so…sorry if some of this seems pedestrian. A lot of this stuff I struggle with and some of it is just stuff that no one really tells you.


Be open about hard or uncomfortable topics, you may not have many but if you stumble over something double back at a later time. This is really the foundation for most of my post.

Explore yourselves, a rock left un-turned or a fork traversed in repetition can lead to stagnation. Do something different, in this sense it can mean a great many things from exploring a new place, traveling unexpectedly or, the more fun, new sex things.

Have difficult conversations, don’t make topics difficult – What I mean by this is, if there is an uncomfortable topic that you both are shying away from, take time to talk about it but don’t make a hard conversation harder by being belligerent or confrontational.

Don’t fall into the “Husband a little wifey” mantra. If this isn’t an issue then congrats, for my wife and I it wasn’t an issue but the older generations were hard on the opinion that the man always brings home the money and the woman makes less. In our relationship it wasn’t always this way and drama was pushed on us from every source.

View each other as partners in crime, love and war.


I wish you both the best, you have a handle on life and from what I have heard you both are well suited to each other!


#12

Thank you all for your wonderful advice!!! I’ve got just a few more hours as a single man, and I just can’t wait… my brother literally had to hide my tux so I wouldn’t wear it to bed.


#13

Good luck bro!!!


#14

Nice man! Good luck and try not to stutter!


#15

Don’t step on her dress, ever…at all…LOL

I’m kidding though, you, me and every person before us steps on the damn train.