The tale of great Varokh, our Orcsiah

elderscrollsonline
pc

#1

I believe as holder of the Missionary Position in the Church of Vocino that I should spread the good word of Vocino’s sacrifice!

Late one night, deep in the Dragontail Mountains of Hammerfell, a great light erupted. There was no doubt. The son of Malacath was born, born of a virgin. He was to be named Varokh

Scholars do not know where the writing of the first 10 years of Varokh’s life have been recorded. It is believed that he spent them tending the bellows of the Royal Forge of Hammerfell. To quote the book of Domo 5.13, "Great Varokh would not disclose his early life, but he was known to be a well versed smith, that of the grandmaster type.

The very commonly known story from the book of Ziq 6.11 is one which is told thorughout the lands of Tamriel. Varokh had been teaching the Orcs of Aldmeri Dominion to stand up for themselves through going back to their Daedric roots. He taught them that his father, Malacath, has not abandoned them, and is still loyal to his disciples. Orcs stood up to their racial enemies, the High Elves. Il’valdar, High Elf, governer of Greenshade, known as “The Orcslayer” had discovered his message.  The Orcslayer marched with hundreds of men into the town of Marbuk. However, the good Varokh lowered a spell over the town, making it appear to be desolate, and the Orcslayer was turned away without causing harm.

The book of Domo 6.1 states that Varokh then went to Cyrodil, in order to spread his word to the barbarians of the Covenant and Pact. As soon as he had started walking towards the Nikel Outpost, he was cut off by a snarling Covenant army. There were cries of “traitor” and “Dominion scum”. Glorious Varokh stepped forwards and shouted, “Are there any among you who can challenge me, or art thou cowards.” A massive Orc, three men tall, stepped forward. “I am Zuits, your demise.” Suddenly, Varokh fired his fist forward, grabbed Zuits by his throat, and snapped his neck. He grunted and walked away, the Covenant army scattered and ran.

Varokh traveled to Elden Root next, with a number of followers he gained in Cyrodil, to spread word of salvation to the people of the Dominion. As soon as he arrived in the city, he was spat on and looked down upon like a common peasant. Queen Ayrenn had heard of his arrival, and within a few days he and his disciples had been fetched by city guards and locked up in the city jail. He told his followers that he would soon be gone, but they could say a small prayer in rememberence of him. The book of Wheatums 7.16 records it as:

Vocino, who art in Oblivion
Hallowed be thy name,
May the drop rates stay, and tables pay
In practice as in theory
Gives this day our daily chest, and boost our defenses
As we buttfuck those who zerg against us
And lead us not into temptation
With our two blues and green

Soon after stating this, Varokh was taken by the Queen’s men to be executed. It was a swift execution, but suddenly his body rose. An oblivion portal opened, and he awakened. He shouted, “Varokh has died, but Vocino has risen. I shall remain the leader of the Orc people, and all of those who wish to follow me may find me in Cyrodil.” (Ziq 12.7)

AND SO THE STORY OF THE ORCSIAH ENDS. YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED TO PREACH, AND WE SHALL TEACH THE UNBELIEVERS WHEREVER THEY LIVE. THOSE WHO DENY WILL BE PREACHED TO WITH STEEL.


The Orc Messiah Returns
#2

This is ridiculously awesome in every conceivable way.


#3

It has been decided that we will say the prayer before every pvp raid we have.


#4

As we buttfuck those who zerg against us.


#5

2 long did not read


#6

Heathen!


#7

Bump for new ESO people.


#8

Stopped reading right here.